Monday, September 22, 2008

Von Shamel-Man’s Power’s and Skills

As some of you know, Shamel-Man has dark history and mysterious super powers. The following information is newly discovered and could be painful to read…especially for someone who has heard of the stories of “shameling” and “shamelization.”

As you know by now, Shamel-man possesses extraordinary powers; he has been traditionally described as "smoother than a shameling shamel, more stiff than a titanium shaft, and able to shamel an entire city of women in a single stare…(when using his Shamel-tan and Shamel-teeth whitening treatments). Shamel-Man is physically at the peak of human ability in dozens of areas, notably the shamel-arts, shamel-batics, shamel-strength, and shamel artistry. Intellectually, he is just as peerless; Shamel-man is one of the world's greatest scientists of shamel-lipulation, female-ologists, and Kama sutra-tacticians, as well as a master of the technique known as shamelization. He is regarded as one of the Universes’ greatest pimps. Rather than simply out-playing his opponents, Shamel-Man often uses cunning and planning to outwit them. He is arguably a Metro-Sexual in the sheer variety and depth of his knowledge and skills.

He also abstains entirely from drinking alcohol, though he presents Charles Von Shamel, his alter ego, as a borderline alcoholic (he creates this illusion by drinking Spanish Fly and eating Viagra and passing it on as crown and 7 and filet mignon). Shamel-man’s refusal to drink is directly linked to keeping his body in its absolute best physical condition to maintain the highest level of shameling.

Shamel-Man designs or modifies the majority of costumes, equipment, and vehicles he uses as Shamel-Man, producing them through various divisions of Von Shamel, Inc., including Shamel-tronics. Over the years, Shamel-Man accumulates a large arsenal of specialized gadgets known as shamel-ets, the designs of which usually share a common theme of hot, sexy, and femalely appealing. A notable example is Shamel-Mans primary vehicle, the Shamel-mobile, usually depicted as an imposing blue car with no roof that suggest an open environment for shameling; another is his chief shameling weapon to arouse his prey, the shamel-rang (or shamel-lama-ding-dong as it’s commonly called). Shamel-man’s other vehicles include the Shamel-plane (aka the Shamel-wing), Shamel-boat, Shamel-Sub, and Shamel-cycle. Shamel-Man keeps most of his shameling equipment (Shamel-ets) in a signature piece of apparel, a Shamel-belt. Over the years it is shown to contain a virtually limitless variety of womanizing tools.

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