Monday, September 22, 2008

The History & Meaning of "T-Dance" (Trent-arius Hebert-ius)

Dance (from French danser, perhaps from Frankish) generally refers to movement of the body, usually rhythmic and to music, used as a form of expression, social interaction or presented in a spiritual or performance setting.

T-Dance (derived from the Roman custom of tea-bagging – spawned from a young roman man named Trentarius Hebertius - who for 20 years was the target of mass town tea-baggings - as the legend goes). T-Dance originated from the actions Trentarius Hebertius took thereafter each mob like tea-bagging event. As the story goes, Trentarius Hebertius’s only form of expressions, were the A-typical dance methods of non-verbal communication between humans or nearby animals (bee dance, mating dance), motion in inanimate objects (the leaves danced in the wind), and certain musical forms or genres. Trantarius Herbertius became the godfather of T-Dancing which has been statistically proven to be as popular as sandscrit and could never attract a following (in fact 87 countries have deemed it illegal and punishable by death).

Definitions of what constitutes T-Dance are dependent on social, cultural, aesthetic, artistic and moral constraints and range from functional movement (such as folk dance) to virtuoso techniques such as ballet. In sports, gymnastics, figure skating and synchronized swimming are dance disciplines while martial arts kata are often referred to as a T-Dance cousin. (In 1257 AD, Charles Von Shamel XVIII was quoted as saying “My contention is that... the only way T-Dance could be the cousin of martial arts kata is if it were a 10th cousin, 7 times removed).

T-Dance can be participatory, social or performed for a private audience or alone in front of a mirror or even the reflection of a small pond. It has been known to be ceremonial, competitive if a social gathering was allowed to throw rocks at the T-Dancer in attempt to wound him. T-Dance movements may be without significance in themselves, or have a gestural vocabulary/symbolic system as in many Asian dances. T-Dance can embody or express ideas, emotions or tell a story; however, no one will ever get the story because the dance movements are metaphysical in nature and objectively stupid.

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